Sunday, August 19, 2012

College Essay


Every day for the first three months of the school year, I make the trek out to the golf course for a three hour practice session. Fighting the afternoon Florida storms and the plethora of mosquitoes that inhabit the course would turn the majority of people away. However, golf never becomes irritating or exhausting, especially because I belong to the greatest team (at least in my own opinion) at my high school, the Girls’ Varsity Golf team. Over my high school career this team has been my family and helped me to learn major life lessons along the way.
         Golf takes much more than athletic ability to succeed. It takes dedication, mental ability, and positive attitude to perform efficiently. Golf has developed in me a hard working and dedicated athlete and person that certainly didn’t exist four years ago. All the hours put in at practice, hitting golf ball after golf ball, walking the course to familiarize myself with the landscape and even lifting weights are things that I look forward to doing because I know that my work will lead to winning and there’s nothing sweeter than winning. I was even honored with the Most Dedicated Award for the focus I put into the golf team. This concept of dedication translates into my school work as well. I put the same effort and time in my academics, striving for the highest GPA I can. Success takes work and golf has taught me how to strive to complete that work.
         While I put a heavy emphasis on my personal training and achievements, my main focus is on the well being of the entire team. The golf team has become my family during my high school career and I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without these great girls. Golf has taught me that you can’t always focus on yourself; the needs of others matter too and sometimes I have to admit I need their help. After some of our teammates had gotten in trouble for breaking rules I was beyond upset and angered. They ignored the team with their selfish actions, resulting in all of us being at risk of facing consequences. Our team was broken with three members getting kicked off the team.  A member of my team who remained saw my reaction to these events and sent me a playlist of her favorite funny YouTube videos in an attempt to cheer me up. It was a simple gesture but I still remember how thoughtful it was. Nowadays, our team is the closest it has ever been. Every member has an equally important spot on the team, whether it’s Sami making everybody bows and goodie bags or Danika with her endless supportive attitude and her ability to make anyone laugh, we all are sisters.
I am truly blessed to have the sport of golf in my life to help me to learn major life lessons and to develop friendships that will last long after high school. Golf has been my family and while we may not be the most normal family we are content and happy. I plan to take the ideas of hard work, dedication, and teamwork with me on to the college level, where I can create even more memories. 

4 comments:

  1. I love this Emily! I really liked how you talked about golf and how it changed you over these past four years and the word "plethora." Perhaps, if you change the ending just slightly, it would be even more unforgettable. Nevertheless, I'm sure everyone who reads will love it as much as I do.

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    1. Thanks Dhyana! I know these word limit things are killing me!

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    2. Nice job Em!!! :) :) I really like it. It really highlights your strengths and helps you come across as the dedicated person you are! If there was anything to change, I would say a little more commas and intracate-looking sentences. They always help!

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  2. When you say the team was broken, does that mean you were unable to compete? Can you give us more info on that? I need to have you print this out so that I can get rid of the errors. There are a few grammar and usage errrors I would like to correct for you. Some of the transitions and the overall organization can be improved. Combine sentences and ideas if you are worried about word limits. Put more of your voice into this, and talk about the role you play on the team. How do you help your fellow players? I would make the thesis about how many people think golf is a solo game, but being part of a team is equally if not more important. It has taught you respect, dedication, and focus. Give us plenty of cases in point. It is ok to over write the first time. We can always cut back. Remember to show rather than tell, and then we can trim. Show it to me again. We will get it. You can do it.

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